Closing One Door to Open Another

I wish I'd been updating this more consistently, but here's a brief run-down of my love life since the last post.

I dated Sam twice before he went back to the girl he was dating before and they seem happier than ever. Which is great. He's a wonderful guy and I hope he finds lots of happiness. He told me something I needed desperately to hear. "It's okay to have high standards. In fact, you SHOULD have high standards." And while I already knew that, been told it all my life, believed it all my life--it didn't mean what it now means since he's said it. I guess I just needed to hear that from someone I was attracted to and who apparently found me appealing too.

SO the strange events following that not-really-but-could-be-exaggerated-as-such-fiasco, he calls me like a month later to ask, awkwardly (which was incredibly histerical to me), if I would be interested in going out with his friend Ricky. I've been out with him about 4 times now over the course of about 3 months now? And while I met his friends at Halloween and they are GREAT peeps and so are his parents and brother... and while he is really a great guy... I find myself back in that pit of disinterest. :I So I feel terrible that I am gonna have to break it to the poor guy. Friendzone. It's where every other guy in my life has been permanently placed.  I'm just not feelin it and usually I can tell when the guy is interested in me and... well... yeah. I'm gonna have to stop this before I *really* break his heart.

*sigh* So that's where that all stands. I've got a small crush on Mr. Sunlight, but who wouldn't? He's a complete charmer. But yeah, that's not likely to happen either. Oh well. I will have to trust in God. Bro Cypert's dream really has given me hope. I hold him in high spiritual regard, I really admire him. So we'll see what the future holds.

I'm looking forward to 2013. I need some change up in here. Chop off my hair, bleach it platinum, get some skinny jeans and a new wardrobe, wear contacts more often, maybe some basic makeup on a daily basis--feel better about myself. Confidence. That is my new years resolution, I think.