Big Zombies Don't Cry

Today took an unexpected turn. I didn't like it.

Well, it was nice to see Lidia and Lizette last night and just talk for a while and eat yummy tacos... but seriously i'm mentally exhausted and it's starting to show in my brainless, zombie-like actions. I was totally spacing out at work. Like, really bad. The doctor was actually worried if I was okay. And I am. Just not all here... I'm at the edge of the universe again. Our poor patients today--most were pretty much older and probably dreaded their appointments for two weeks in advance. :( Especially my last patient... poor dear...

Well, I was kinda waking up more after the last patient. My dad was asked to come to the office to fix the computer, cuz we've been having issues with it. He did but there's a few more adjustments. Meh. We were out of there by quarter to 2pm. Our office manager asked if my dad could swing by her house to look at her daughters computer, which was fine. We stopped at In-n-Out for foods and got to her house around 2:15. THEN WE DIDN'T LEAVE UNTIL 6! What the heck? The entire time I sat on her couch, partly zoning out to tv, partly trying to read my sister's library book so she can turn it in already, like a total zombie. I didn't mind. I thought this would be a 2 hour stop max. Instead, I got home at fricken 7. SEVEN! Dammit. I got off of work at 2--I could have WALKED home faster. So yes, I'm pretty damn angry. But instead of getting snitty and sarcastic, I started crying. GREAT! just great. I don't even know why. It's stupid. And knowing that it was stupid just made it worse. And then I couldn't breathe. And then I fell asleep. And then we almost crashed. And then I had to accept my dad's stupid apology because he helped me this last tuesday on my 8 computer assignments that I never would have finished if it wasn't for him practically babysitting me over it.

grrr... and yet, as angry as I am writing this, I'm biting back more crocodile tears. Where did all this come from? I much prefer breathing, which is really hard to do when you're holding your breath so that you don't cry over spilled brains, well zombies don't.
and here i am.
pathetic.

just pathetic. my self-esteem is about negative 5000 right now.