My Computer Has H1N1

Yeah, my computer got sick. :( I'm very sad. My dad has been operating on it on and off since friday. At least the prognosis is good.

I'm very bipolar, I've decided. I think it's obvious though...
Some days are just the best days ever and others i feel lower than dirt.
Today, I just feel at a happy medium. Content, i guess.

I woke up this morning feeling pretty good, so I dressed cute and wore the crystal pendant necklace that Grandma West gave me. This last saturday I cleaned her house for like, the first time in 5 weeks or something. I spent half the time talking with her and enjoying her company though. :) I really missed her while she was visiting her kids. I am not sure why, but my view towards that necklace has changed. Before, it brought sad thoughts about a future time when she is no longer here. Now, I look at it and remember happy times and look forward to the future. I very much like this change.

The past week or so I've really REALLY tried hard to change my general, public attitude. I might not have that same inner attitude, but there is no reason to share negativity. This world seriously needs more optimism. I've proudly left several operationbeautiful notes in a few bathrooms at school and a couple "Good luck on finals, stranger! :)" notes on computer keyboards and whatnot. The hope that people found these and smiled or hopefully got inspired or happy, even for a split second, is encouraging. I left a "You Are Beautiful, so smile!" on a mirror after my spanish final but when I gave in to the temptataion to check after my psych final it was gone. It wasn't in the trash, so I can only hope that someone took it and went to the website and may leave their own notes and share the love. I guess a part of me really wants to find a note too. I want someone to tell me I'm beautiful, and not tell me after they've gotten to know me. To just see me smile and say, Wow. You are a beautiful person. Of course, I know these kinds of wants are selfish and dreamy, but I have to start somewhere. I can't just believe it in a day.

My work party was pretty good. I stunned everyone when I showed up with my mom (it was her bday, too) and I had on eye makeup, contacts, and my hair was down and soft and nice. Dinner at the Golden Spur--which despite all outward appearances is largely a seafood restaurant? It was okay. I don't care for seafood, so I stuck with this fetticuine thing... I'm jealous cuz my mom got this amazing steak and baked potato. Oh, and we all had great garlic cheese bread! I could've eaten a loaf of that. The salad was lacking. Speaking of which, I bought the good stuff today and I think I'm gonna go eat it after this... We went back to doctor's house after for a gift exchange, a chime game, dessert, and lots of chatting. Twas nice, really. ^^ My mom also has faces with names now. haha!

Well, I can't remember if I've written this somewhere before, but lately it's been on my mind. There was a guy in high school who was definitely hot and definitely not the best guy ever, but not too terrible either. He was the bad boy with a good streak, you know? Well, I was once told by this person that though I was already pretty and nice, I would have guys all over me if I wore makeup and did my hair more often. He didn't mean it in a mean way... I believe he truely meant it as a compliment. Back then, I had my insecurities, but hearing that, I immediately said that I would gladly put more effort into how I looked when I found someone I loved who loved me as I am, for who I am. Lately though....... i wonder. What if he is right? Has the right guy passed me before and never bothered with a second look because I never bothered to try to look my best? Ugh, forget it... I don't want to dwell on this. I've had a good day, so forget this crap.

So two of three finals down, as of today. And both went very well. In fact, I'm quite sure I have an A in both spanish and psych. Yay!

.....okay, so in a complete turn of events, my brother fails at the academic aspect of life yet again, my save file on guitar hero III has been irredeemably corrupted somehow (after all that progress!), my dad's attitude has me ready to scream, and despite not wanting to, I'm still dwelling on the afore mentioned issue I didn't want to dwell on. Thanks life, you really know how to ruin a day.