Dental Angst

Lately my patients are asking again if I'm gonna or wanna be a dentist. :/
This gives me very mixed feelings.

On the one hand, I'm flattered that they think I would make a good dentist. That my assistant skills in their eyes is as professional and practiced as a dentist.
On the other hand, I'm crushed knowing that I never will be. I feel like a failure for getting to this point and just remaining stagnant. I tell them I don't wanna run my own business and that I'm too lazy. Which is partly true, but if I was driven, it wouldn't be an issue. Honestly though, I don't think I'd ever be good enough.

So yeah, I've been down the dumps lately, if that isn't obvious enough by my tone.

Part of it is the whole never having a boyfriend thing. I mean, everyone in Riverside is a couple now. So yeah, I don't feel like going to anything with them anymore. All it is is one giant group date and the little sister/loser friend AKA me that tags along. If there's anything I hate, it's being a third wheel. Some of them make me feel more miserably single than others. I am happy for them, I am. And I love them. But who can blame me for not wanting to go?

There's a Multi-Stake YSA Valentine's Dance coming up on Feb 11... I kinda want Emily to want to go so that I can go. There's no way I'd go by myself. In fact, I want to go, but I don't want to go AS myself. I already asked Em if I could wear my short blonde wig. I have SOOOOO much more confidence in costume than I ever do as an everyday person.

And I'm sick of work. I hate working 5 days a week in a career where it's bloody near impossible to take even a day off. What's the point? Why work so hard all year and not be able to take a day off if I'm sick or just for fun? What if my friends wanted to do a 4 days camping trip over a weekend? Or I got food poisoning? Or I want to go to a 4 day con once each year? or take a disneyland day? or just plain need a day to catch up with life? Nope. Both my bosses won't let me do it. Really, I'm ready to quit one of the jobs cuz I NEED A LIFE. I'm young. I've saved my money. I have a hobby. I have friends whom I'd love to see and not have to run back to my career the next damn morning. This is where being my own boss would rock, but at the same time, I'm afraid I'd turn into my current bosses. UGHHHHHHh

....can't win for losing, huh? I hate being angsty, which just makes this whole post an annoyance now. Of course.